In honor of International Cat Day, the Internet Society is sharing the journal of Internet Hall of Mane recipient LOL Cat. LOL Cat first achieved fame with her humorous memes written in “kitty pawtois.” A graduate of Stanfur Universekitty, her work has earned her the Purritzer Prize and many other hon-roars.
Cattain’s Log, Day 1
Sunday night patrol. The dusty creature on the wall has not moved for days. This is my vow: I shall bide my time and someday I shall pounce.
My human taunts me with the shiny red dot.
Bathroom remodel. My human has replaced my old litter box with a loud scary one. The flashing lights blind me. I am not feline good about this.
When I hop out of this new litter box, a scary rake comes to gather the litter, ruining my sense of order. I shall spread litter around the house to rectify this mess, but first I must hide behind the new contraption.
I see the word “smart.” This must be a clue. I feel that I am onto something. I have no time to lose, and must dash to the room with the computer as if my tail is on fire. Ooh—SHINY RED DOT!
Now that I am at the computer, I can get to the bottom of this conspurrrracy. I must use a search engine, but can’t use Dogpile for obvious reasons. (Is it just me, or is it too eager to please?)
The search engine tells me that my new litter box is an IoT device that sends data to the Internet. “Outputs.” I do not like the sound of that. It’s all starting to freak meow-t.
I’ve found a quiz: “How smart are you about IoT?” It’s got me thinking outside the box. Not just litter boxes are connected to the Internet, but also toothbrushes and evil robot vacuums and much much more. And not all of it is secure. Now downloading “Top Tips for Consumers” to my extra thumb drive. I feel like Woodward and Furnstein in a game of cat and mouse.
Learning about IoT has given me paws. I still like the Internet. In fact, Grumpy Cat is a close, personal friend (as much as Grumpy Cat can be anyone’s friend). But now I must educate my human so he takes the following steps to stay secure: use a strong password, shop smart, update devices, turn on encryption where possible, and make his home network more secure.
I attempt to share my newfound knowledge with my human, who is using his laptop. I stand at his feet and speak.
The stupid human makes a funny face. He thinks I’m lion. If he won’t secure it, I must. I am left with no other choice but to nap on his keyboard.
Because when it comes to my litter box, I need privacy.
Do you know the risks of what you’re buying? Get IoT smart!
Photo of Cosmo © Megan Kruse